Erin's Ponderings

Thank You

2009-08-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

I couldn't leave this blog for 18 months without thanking everyone I love. Not all of them will read this blog, but at least I can record my gratitude for them. I have met so many amazing people this past year who have taught me the meaning of true friendship. They have helped me and supported me, listened when I needed someone to listen, discussed important things with me, and comforted me when I was going through hard times. I lived with and nearby so many people in Provo who truly cared about me, and showed me so through simple actions. They probably have no idea about all the times they said the right thing or did the right thing just when I needed it. They taught me what Christlike love is all about.

So to all of you who I have associated with, thank you. Thank you for truly caring and showing me what true friendship is. You probably have no idea how much you helped me.

Mission: Possible

2009-08-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

It's almost time for me to leave for my mission. This has been a great summer: busy but great. I've been able to spend lots of time with family, relatives, and friends. Whether I was boating on Lake Washington with my family, jumping in the lake with cousins at a family reunion, or dancing the night away with friends, I enjoyed every minute of my summer in Seattle. Now my parents dropped the bomb that they will probably be moving while I'm on my mission. If all goes according to plan, I will be coming back to a new house when I return: not the house I've lived in for 20 years. Even so, I've learned countless times that it's not the places or the things that matter; it's the people you love. So onward I go to the MTC in Provo, knowing that those I love will be cheering for me.

As I pack up my room, ready my bags, and clean the house for my farewell festivities, many crazy things are happening. Firstly, I got sick, and they don't let you in the MTC if you're sick. Thank you to Heavenly Father, I am getting better. Secondly, I stepped on a rusty can. So if I don't die of swine flu, I will die of tetanus. In all seriousness, though, I am feeling great. A little nervous, yes; a little overwhelmed, yes; but a little excited, SI!

I'm ready to jump off the precipice and tackle this latest challenge. I know that I will not be able to do this by myself. Only through Christ can I have the strength and the ability to serve a full-time mission. So I'm counting on His help, because I definitely need it.

Things I Dislike/Things I Love

2009-07-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

10 Things I Greatly Dislike:
1. When people make a big hype over something or someone that doesn't deserve it (eg, High School Musical)
2. People who think they're "all that"
3. People with no morals
4. Abuse or neglect of children
5. Selfish leaders who abuse their authority
6. People who do not follow through (say they will do something and don't)
7. Wasting a life (through laziness, addictions, etc.)
8. Worshiping of celebrities or other pop-culture icons
9. Rude people who look down on others
10. Worldliness

20 Things that Make Me Happy:
1. Singing with people to piano or guitar
2. The fresh smell of a newly-printed book
3. Gospel discussions with friends
4. The stomach-dropping feeling on a roller coaster
5. Real hugs (none of that side-hug nonsense)
6. Seeing my work in print
7. Finishing writing a story and wrapping it all up
8. London in general
9. Bookstores and libraries
10. Running into a good friend
11. Bright sun and blue skies
12. Being in the water
13. Learning something new all on my own
14. Hanging out with my family after church
15. Creation: writing a song, play, movie, or story
16. Cousins
17. Witty comments
18. Laughter
19. Childhood and make-believe
20. Prayer

Patriotism

2009-07-06T00:34:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post the third verse of the Star Spangled Banner:
Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand
Between their loved homes, and the war's desolation
Blessed with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust!"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave

Yes, this verse is in the national anthem of our country, the national anthem that everyone, be they religious or not, sings. My favorite line is "May the heaven-rescued land praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!" As a nation, we need to remember who founded this country: our Heavenly Father (this is why "Power" is capitalized). God made our nation and preserves it when we follow him; in fact, this nation is "heaven-rescued". We were founded purely through the blessings of God, and time and time again we are preserved by the mercy of the Lord. Sadly, people forget why our nation was founded. People forget our motto, In God is our trust. Only by using this motto and aligning our causes with the cause of God can the star-spangled banner "wave in triumph".

This is truly an amazing country. It was established with Christian values as a God-fearing nation where each person is free to worship God in their own way. Only in a country like this could the fullness of the gospel be restored.

It's sad when the leaders of this country lose sight of the vision of the country: that it was founded as a place where people could be free to choose liberty and live full lives. That it was established as a place where we could respect God's laws and the laws of the land. That it was made so that we would fight wars only when "our cause is just". That it was founded as a nation where we rely on God for our strength; when we boast in the strength of men, God always shows us who is really in charge. It is the Lord who made us, and the Lord who preserves us.

I hope that each of us can "praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation", and that then our nation can be "blessed with victory and peace".

Mission Blessings

2009-07-06T00:16:00.001-07:00

I just realized that I haven't said anything about my mission! I got called to serve in Tempe, Arizona (Spanish speaking). I've heard good things about the mission and am so excited to serve the people there! It is going to be such an amazing (difficult, but amazing) experience!

I've received so many blessings in conjunction with my mission call. I'm grateful to have received the call at BYU, where there were so many people to help and support me. My roommate got her mission call the same day, so we were able to prepare together. Actually, our friend decided to "train" us for our missions... he had us be "companions" and study Preach My Gospel together, and then teach a discussion to someone. That was an amazing experience in itself. Studying with my roommate helped me so much because we learned a ton as we discussed principles of the gospel. Teaching the lessons with someone's specific needs in mind really blessed all of us. I really felt that I was inspired as I learned to have the spirit work through me in helping me choose who to teach, what to teach them, and what to say. I felt that I should teach my other roommate about a topic that I hadn't even realized before that she was struggling with. Also, when my "companion" and I were supposed to choose someone to teach, she decided to teach someone that I also felt was who we should teach.

Anyway, I was able to talk to many return missionaries who gave me great advice. There were lots of people who had served Spanish-speaking missions, and even one girl who had served in Arizona. Several people gave us lessons from Preach My Gospel and just talked with us. Elisa studied the Spanish Book of Mormon with me. They all have no idea how much they helped me.

Leading up to receiving my mission call, I had several experiences that strengthened me. My RM friend told me about receiving her call and how it wasn't what she expected, but she learned to love where she served. I went running and saw a beautiful rainbow, and later I also saw a rainbow extending from Y Mountain to the apartments behind me. For me, the rainbows were a sign of God's love and peace.

When I opened my mission call, I had so many friends there to support me. I had no idea where I would be going on my mission, but I feel at peace with where I will be serving and am very excited about this opportunity.

Today I was praying about what I should do to further prepare for my mission. I have been studying PMG and El Libro de Mormon, but I wondered what else I should do. I ran into the Spanish-speaking Sister missionaries, and they were able to give me all kinds of encouragement and advice. They asked me if I wanted to go on splits with them some time. Whether I go or not, it was so great just to talk to them and get some encouragement.

I may not be the most spiritual or the most friendly person in the world, but I know that going on a mission is the right step for me now in my life. On my mission, I hope to gain a stronger relationship with the Savior and gain a better understanding of the atonement. I hope to feel Christlike love for the people I serve. I also hope to learn how to rely on the spirit. I hope to gain confidence and interpersonal skills so I am better at approaching people and discussing the gospel with them. I hope to gain a stronger testimony of the gospel and of the restoration of the gospel. Mostly, I hope to influence the people I serve and in some way help them to come closer to Christ. No matter how many baptisms I have, I hope to help the people live the gospel to the fullest and strive to become more Christlike- and that's what I want to do, too.

Balance

2009-07-06T00:08:00.000-07:00

It's definitely time for a new post! And I've been thinking about a lot of things lately that I need to get down in writing. Ever since I finished the first draft of Walls, I've been putting writing aside, and I miss it...so this will be a good warm-up.

I've been talking to a friend of mine who was wondering how to balance school and social life. His life is so blocked out with work and study that he doesn't have time to devote to meaningful relationships, and he wanted advice. I wouldn't say that having a social life comes completely naturally to me, but having friends and building relationships is just an important part of my life that I can't block out. If you're always scheduling everything (and I should know, because I'm a planner), you don't leave any time to help people in need or create quality relationships with other people.

In institute the other day the teacher mentioned something I've heard before, that there are only two things you can take with you to the next life: knowledge and relationships. The statement had never quite struck me in the way it did then. My friend was focusing on one aspect (knowledge), but life is all about learning to balance both. We need to be building both our knowledge AND our relationships if these are the most important things to gain in this life. It's important to understand how much other people matter and how we should work to build our relationships with others so we can influence each other's lives. I hope that I can learn to love the people I serve on my mission and that I can meet people whom I can influence... and vis versa. And I hope to better balance these two important aspects of my life: increasing my knowledge AND building relationships.

Living

2009-05-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about Thoreau's quote to suck the marrow out of life and LIVE. Sometimes we get so caught up in the little things of life that we forget that life is about LIVING. Life isn't about just surviving and doing the same things day to day. It's all about growing and learning and becoming better each day. Even if we think we've improved ourselves, there is always something we can be doing for others and using what we've learned to help other people.
Sadly, this is something I haven't really grasped until I came to college, but I think hopefully I understand a little better what life is all about. Just think about all the people in the world who go to the same boring jobs everyday and come home to the same wasteful lives...not to sound harsh or anything, but life is so much more than that.
At my internship, I work for an LDS magazine, so I get to write a lot of fun service articles from an LDS perspective. I've been interviewing some people recently who have done so much with what they've learned to bless lives. A professor of food science developed a food dryer and introduced it to people in the Pacific Islands so they could have food storage. A man I talked to today developed a simple gardening method and he distributed his video throughout the world so people could follow the advice of the prophet and have a garden. A baseball team is going to the Dominican Republic for some games, and while there they're going to teach some clinics and give the kids some equipment, and also go on splits with the missionaries.
ANYWAY, I think these people realize what life is all about...developing ourselves and using that to bless others. :)

Gag me with syrup

2009-04-16T23:23:00.001-07:00

Here is a tribute to LDS writers who write sappy romance novels:

Mary saw him across the dance floor and met his sparkling blue eyes. A wave of passion hit her. She watched with bated breath as he stepped toward her.
"Hello, madam," said the tall dark handsome man, sweeping into a bow. "Shall we dance?"
She sighed, unable to speak. As he swept her into his arms, she felt that she could dance forever.
"I...don't know your name," sighed Mary as she glided across the dance floor with the gentleman, feeling as if her heart was flying.
"Names are not important," said the man. "All that matters is that you're beautiful."
Mary smiled at him. Her fingers reached out to stroke his smooth cheek. Her fingers reached for his face...
and she pulled off his mask.
"Nice try, Eddie," she said. "You can't be a hot guy, even on Halloween."

Reading Days

2009-04-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

Oh, reading days. A glorious never-ending session of eating, sleeping, playing, and studying, with more weight given to eating, sleeping, and playing. Did I study last night? No, I roasted marshmallows on the bell tower lights and made a claymation movie. What a fabulous existence.

This dang novel

2009-04-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Last day of my writing class. :( I have to finish this dang novel! I just have to!

Writing and Truth

2009-04-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

This has been weighing on my mind since my Writing for YA class got out half an hour ago, so here goes... We talked about truth in writing and having the truth come through. What we've been stressing the entire semester is that you can't preach to your readers. You tell your story, and you let your character grow and experience and make choices, but you don't go to your story thinking: I am going to give my readers this great lesson about such-and-such. Anyway, today an author came in and talked to us about the unique perspective we have as LDS writers. Writing is all about finding "truth", and in the LDS culture, we believe we have truth. It is our responsibility to make our inner truth shine through in our writing. It's interesting how many people are looking for truth. You can always find this search for spirituality and direction in YA writing, particularly through the main character's moral struggles. There is often also a Christ-figure in YA writing who leads the character (there is one is many many books that I have read recently...and now I realize that there's one in my novel, but I when I wrote him in, I wasn't thinking, "this is my Christ-figure", I was thinking, "For some reason I feel like my main character needs this character to help her in the novel). Anyway, writers and readers are looking for this direction and meaning, and LDS writers have this to some extent. So while we can't preach, we can show through our story the search for spirituality and the hope it brings about. The author today also talked about the spirit directing her in her writing, and how she felt that God wanted her to tell certain things. I believe even God cares about how we touch people through writing, and He can direct us through writing to tell our stories in the best possible ways that will affect readers' lives. I have had been experiences through reading where I have learned about life and about who I am. Sometimes I finish a book thinking "WOW", and the issues in the book pry at me after I'm finished and affect the kind of person I am and what I believe. THAT, I think, is the mark of a good book: something that can affect you in this way. And that's how I hope to write.

Planning vs. Spontaneity

2009-02-20T12:34:00.000-08:00

Life is fabulous right now.
I know what I'm doing with my life.
I had a break-down a few weeks ago because I was so confused about what I should do with the next few years of my life/forever....but at least I have the next few years planned out by now.
For spring term, I'm staying in Provo and living with mostly the same roomies. Kylie is going to move nearby with her friends. I will be doing an internship for LDS Living magazine, and working....somewhere.
For the summer I am going home and Kylie and I are going to do our old Boy Scout job- so excited!
In the fall, I am leaving on my mission.
When I get back, I will have a year left of school.
So that's my life right now, as far as I can factor everything anyway.
I'm turning 21 in 2 days! These are the last 2 days of being young and wild and free, so I better cherish them! Now I have to be an O-fficial adult and be super responsible. I'm so scared for the future and the unknown....yet that makes it all the more exciting!!!
I am learning from my roommate Breanna that I need to be more spontaneous. I'm so used to having everything exactly planned out for my future because I like to know what's coming...I don't like to be in suspense. She just lives day by day and doesn't know what the heck she's doing next year. Example- one day I was helping her plan out her life and all of a sudden she jumped up and said: "We're getting a pet!" So we all jumped in the car, drove to the pet store, and bought a hamster. Spontaneous- yes. Awesome- yes. At the time I was like, "I can't, I have homework!", but if I hadn't have gone, I would have REALLY regretted it. So I think it's good for me to add a little more spontaneity and flavor in my life. Then again, it's also good to be somewhat planned for the future. Maybe if Breanna and I merged ourselves together, we could live the perfect life. Ha ha ha. Really though, I think sometimes I live too much in the future. I'm always worried about what's going to happen to me, and sometimes I don't slow down enough to just enjoy myself day-by-day, and leave some room for surprise! If I live in the moment a little more, each day becomes special, and I won't be looking back on my life saying, "Well that happened fast! What did I even do?" but I'll be able to have great memories- yes, even the spontaneous ones.

Mission

2009-01-18T23:49:00.000-08:00

I decided to go on a mission. This was honestly the toughest decision of my life. I started thinking about it last year, at least I little bit. I was friends with someone who was deciding to go and she told me how she had come to the decision. I was thinking- wait, I'm going to be 21 next year! Crap...I have to start thinking about this! I know some people decide really quickly and just go, but I'm not like that. I have to plan my life in advance. A year and a half is a LONG time! So I thought about it over the summer, and told my mom I was thinking about it. I was expecting her to be excited, but she didn't seem too excited, which I thought was weird. I found out later though, that it was nothing against me. She just wasn't ready to let me go. I think going to London really helped her realize how okay it is for me to go somewhere, though. Anyway, last semester I was struggling because sometimes I would feel SO good about going, and other times I wouldn't...or I guess fear would get in the way. But I did have a few experiences where I felt really good about serving a mission. Finally, I just decided to decide! I decided to take action and see if God was going to stop me. He didn't. So here I am. And I have felt that this is the right decision for me. But I still have doubts and fears all the time. Heck though, if fear is the only thing keeping me back, that's ridiculous! I might as well go. I think I will regret it if I don't.

I just want to write

2009-01-18T23:44:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it. I totally forgot that I had this blog until Mel asked me why I hadn't posted anything. Whoops. So this one is for you, Mel.
Despite the fact that I haven't been writing in this blog, lately I had an epiphany. I want to be a writer! Well, I already knew that, but I don't really care about being an editor as much. I just want to write! Maybe this came to me when I was doing my loads of editing homework...I don't know...but I think it came when I started working on my novel for my Young Adult Lit class. I am so excited about this novel! So now I just want to write, not edit. The problem is, I need money. So I'm going to hang out in the engineering department to find a rich husband. Just kidding, I'm not. But I want to be a writer!!! Please please please somebody publish my book someday!

London Study Abroad

2008-07-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

I went to London for 6 weeks (Spring term) for a theatre study abroad program. There were a group of about 30 students in the program, and we took two classes, Theatre in London and Shakespeare (both classes counted toward my major). We had the classes two days a week in the Hyde Park chapel building. The best part about these classes was that we actually got to see all the plays we studied for class. We lived in flats in Kensington, right across from Hyde Park. I absolutely loved the time I spent in England! The country was just so beautiful and I loved being in a place where I could walk where some of the greatest writers walked, see some of the most amazing theatre in the world, and understand the country where so many of my ancestors came from.
I really loved the people I met in London. Everyone was so nice and I just loved picking up the great English phrases like “Cheers” and “chappies”. I met some interesting characters from all over the world, including an African man who gave me a lecture about voting for Obama and an Australian who was selling ice cream to support his son’s soccer playing. I went to institute and a dance and the local members were a lot of fun. My favorite part about London was going to the Stratford ward, but I’ll leave that for the end.
I absolutely loved Hyde Park. I spent a lot of time there reading, studying, and reading scriptures. It was just a beautiful place and I loved being there and walking around. Kensington Palace and Gardens, Italian fountains, a pond, and the Peter Pan statue were all within the park.
Getting used to living in London was a bit difficult at first, but I quickly caught on to everything. I knew how to get to all the important places, like the grocery store. We had a pass for the tube (the underground) which was so easy to use and I was so grateful to be able to get everywhere so fast! I tried a lot of strange foods while I was there. Sausages and mash, Cornish pasties, fish and chips, and Turkish delight were all part of the menu. I totally got addicted to Digestives, a chocolate coated biscuit.
We went to a lot of plays as part of the program. The Shakespeare plays we studied and saw were Richard III (by the Royal Shakespeare Company), King Lear (at the Globe), A Midsummer Night’s Dream (at the Globe), Troilus and Cressida, Romeo and Juliet (at the Regent’s Park outdoor theatre), The Merchant of Venice (at Stratford Upon Avon), The Taming of the Shrew (in Stratford also), and The Merry Wives of Windsor (at the Globe). I must admit that I now am a big Shakespeare fan! I mean, who couldn’t love a guy who says things like, “God made him, so let him pass for a man”? (Try that on your enemy sometime!) All of the productions were extremely well done. I really enjoyed Midsummer Night’s Dream, and I loved the intriguing feminist theme that was used in Taming of the Shrew. Writing papers on the productions really affected the way I looked at and analyzed the plays I was seeing.
We saw a lot of great theatre from all different time periods for the Theatre class. We saw both parts of War and Peace, Pygmalion, Fram (at the National Theatre), Gone With the Wind (a new musical), A Good Soul of Szechuan, Brief Encounter, and Afterlife. I thought the production of Szechuan had a strong theme and was extremely intriguing, and Brief Encounter was just so much fun. The theatre had a band performing throughout, and during the interval (that’s what they call the intermission) the actors passed out cucumber sandwiches.
Since London is one of the world’s biggest theatre districts, and I am a theatre nut, obviously I saw a lot of theatre! I saw Wicked, which I was so excited to finally see and I was amazed that it actually lived up to all its hype! It was absolutely incredible! I also watched The Lion King, which had amazing costumes and music. Les Miserables, my favorite musical, was awesome to see, Spamalot (the new Monty Python musical) was hilarious, and The Sound of Music was an awesome feel-good musical.
Besides classes, plays, and group activities, we were pretty much free to sight see and explore London on our own. I did an amazing amount of things, but there was still so much I could have done! The first week I went to the Museum of London, the Borough Market which sells food from all over the world, and St. Paul’s Cathedral, which was so gorgeous. It was filled with memorials to war veterans and famous people. The Whispering Galley at the top overlooked the cathedral, and the crypt below was the burial place of many distinguished figures. My roommate Natalia and I visited Covent Garden (a shopping district) and took pictures next to Platform 9 ¾ at King’s Cross Station. Living in London totally allowed me to understand Harry Potter, by the way. The public buses are so much like the Knight Bus, weaving in and out of traffic and lurching to a stop so the passengers go flying! Natalia and I had a scary experience walking home. A couple drunk guys were standing on the street (there’s a lot more drinking and smoking in London) and one guy asked us if we had a cigarette. When I said no, they started yelling at us and even threw their beer bottles at us. Luckily we walked really fast and the beer bottles only shattered at our feet, but it was a still a bit startling.
As a group we went on a Shakespeare walk to all the Shakespeare sites such as the site of the Old Globe, Temple Church, and Southwark Church where Shakespeare went to church. I went to Westminster Abbey to hear the choir sing at Evensong, and we visited the Houses of Parliament and sat in for some sessions (Big Ben is connected to the Houses of Parliament). The sessions totally reminded me of the court scenes in Harry Potter, but anyway… Everything is so much more expensive in London. Even going to McDonald’s is a pain in the pound (they use pounds, which are each worth about $2). There are a lot of grab-and-go sandwich places. One time we went to one right when they were closing and they gave us tons of free food. Anyway, that week I went to the Tower of London. We got a tour from a Beefeater (they guard the tower and the crown jewels) and explored the ancient towers (from the time of Henry the 8th). We saw Traitor’s Gate, Sir Walter Raleigh’s prison room, the room thought to hold the 2 captive princes we learned about in Richard III, an armory of armor and weapons, and a jewel house with the royal jewels.
I loved attending the shows at the Globe. We got a tour of it and it was built after the original Globe of Shakespeare’s time. We were always the groundlings, so we got to stand up right next to the stage. There were always performers before the show who used traditional instruments. I ate at the Orangery, which had excellent scones and lemonade. One of my very favorite places was the British Library. I know, sounds boring, but I’m an English nerd, remember? There were copies of really old books and manuscripts, including the Magna Carta. There were beautiful books from post-medieval times and writings and books of sonnets from Shakespeare. There were original writings from authors such as Lewis Carroll, Charlotte Bronte, and Joseph Conrad. Best of all were letters written by Jane Austen on her real writing desk! So cool! There was lots of music, too, like copies of Mozart pieces. I also went to see the musical Chess in concert at the Royal Albert Hall, starring Idina Menzel (Elphaba from Wicked) and the amazing Josh Groban. I stood on the balcony and watched; it had a full orchestra, choir, and dancing, and Josh Groban’s voice gave me chills!
I also visited the White Hall Banquet House, where royal banquets and masques have been held for centuries. There was beautiful Roman architecture and a painted ceiling, with a king’s throne where the royalty receives guests. It is amazing how long these English buildings have been around and how much history they’ve experienced. Speaking of old buildings, I also toured Westminster Abbey which was absolutely breathtaking, and it’s been around for centuries! It is the place where kings are crowned, so the throne was there. We saw the Shrine of St. Edward the Confessor (where people came on pilgrimages to in order to be healed), and a beautiful tomb for Elizabeth and (Bloody) Mary, finally united despite their religious differences. Mary Queen of Scots, Henry 7, William Wilberforce, Charles Dickens, Handel, and others were buried there and had memorials. My favorite place was Poet’s Corner, with memorials for all my favorite poets and writers, including Shakespeare, Chaucer, Wordsworth, Austen, the Brontes, Clare, etc. There was the Lady’s Chapel, the nave which had the tomb of the unknown warrior, and a room where the monks say their prayers. I loved the artistic symbolism, the history, the ornate decorations, and the vaulted ceiling.
The British Museum was also a fabulous place. I saw artifacts from all different areas and periods, including the Rosetta Stone, Egyptian mummies, Grecian Urns, statues, artwork, and displays from Mesopotamia, Greece, Rome, Africa, the Americas, etc. The Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace was not my favorite event. It was fun to see the guards march in and play their instruments, but the crowds were just not enjoyable. I loved all the parks in London, including St. James’. We had a tour of the National Theatre, and had firesides from members of the stake presidency. I also went to Evensong at St. Paul’s. I tried to avoid shopping and laundry as much as I could, because when I wasn’t in class or during homework, I was exploring London! I went to the Victoria and Albert Museum, too.
We got a 4 day travel weekend for part of the trip where we could visit a place of our choice. I went with 7 other girls to Paris, and it was such an incredible experience! Paris was the most beautiful and romantic city and I can’t even describe in words how completely wonderful it was just to be there. We traveled there by chunnel. The city was a bit overwhelming at first, especially the French, but luckily most people spoke English, too. My favorite thing about Paris was just sitting in an outdoor café, watching people and looking out over the city.
The first day we lugged our 50 lb. backpacks as we climbed hundreds of steps. First we went to a church called St. Chapelle. The top floor was so gorgeous that it literally makes your jaw drop; there are stained glass windows that depict all the Bible stories. After that we went straight to Notre Dame and toured the inside of the church. We went up to the top and saw the roof with the statues and gargoyles, the great bell, and looked out over the landscape. Finally- more stairs! We went to the top of the Eiffel Tower and the view was incredible. We ate at a lot of cafes in Paris and the food was unbelievable. My favorite restaurant had a three course meal consisting of chicken salad, chicken and potatoes, and a fruit tart, and it was all so delicious! We ate a couple breakfasts at outdoor cafes which was really fun. The crepes are great, and the croissants are so good- they melt in your mouth! 4 of us stayed at a hostel called The Three Ducks. It was a bit scary at first because we had to check in through a bar, but it turned out to be okay- there were nice people from all over the world, mostly students like us. I brought my scriptures so my roommates and I had a devotional every night.
On the second day we went to a museum called Musee d’Orsay which had a lot of Impressionist art. There was tons of amazing and famous artwork by Renoir, Van Gogh, Monet, etc. Afterwards we walked through the underground catacombs, which had tons of skeletons from ancient people that didn’t have a place to be buried! We saw the Victor Hugo House, a famous park, and saw the Arc de Triumph, a beautiful arch celebrating France’s military victories that had a flame to honor WWII victims. The Arc and the Eiffel light up at night, and the city really comes alive! The third day was the best; we took a train to Versailles. We went through the palace of King Louis XIV, which was incredibly ornate. The most impressive part was the grounds- so gorgeous! We walked through the gardens and hedges, by the fountains and lake, and up to Marie Antoinette’s farm, which had beautiful storybook cottages, streams, bridges, and lilly pads. That night we went to the Louvre, the famous museum with the inverted pyramids. We hit all the highlights- the Venus de Milo, art by da Vinci such as the Mona Lisa (surrounded by glass and people), Cupid and Psyche, the Winged Victory, and all kinds of Greek, Roman, and French classic paintings and sculptures. We went up to the Eiffel Tower that night to watch it while it glowed and sparkled. One guy who was selling us key chains gave us all roses, so we posed in front of the Eiffel with them like true Parisians! On the last day we went to a church called Sac re Coeur, which resembled the palace from Aladdin. There was a violinist and a harpist performing outside. We bought souvenirs, wandered down the Champs de Elysses (the famous shopping street), and visited Laduree, a famous bakery. I loved Paris so much! Paris was an amazing place to visit but London was a great place to live.
Back in England, I went to the National Gallery. For the last few weeks, I spent a lot of time in the countryside outside of the city of London, and I fell in love with England. I took a trip with some of the other students to do baptisms at the London Temple. It was a wonderful experience to be able to baptize so many people from all over the world, and the grounds of the London Temple are the most extensive of any temple grounds in the world. I visited Kew Gardens, a pretty area that was dedicated to the study of plants from all over the world. There are greenhouses filled with everything from rubber trees to giant water lilies to flowers and cacti. We went on a guided tour, and also a bridge that overlooked the tree tops. I also went on a tour of Stonehenge and Bath. Stonehenge was so impressive- a monument formed as far back as 3050 BC with each stone taking about 60 men to move. Bath was an amazing city. It was a place of high society during Jane Austen’s time, and she lived there for 6 years. I just read Northanger Abbey where the protagonist lives in Bath and visits the Pump Room to meet with the people of society, so I had to see the Pump Room. The city was filled with fun shops, some of which had been standing for hundreds of years. I toured the Roman Baths, which are hot spring pools where the ancient Romans used to bathe in belief that they could be healed; I even tried some of the bath water. There was also a famous bun bakery and a Jane Austen Centre. Also, as a group we went on a country walk around the countryside, where we saw castle ruins and waded through a stream.
For my last week in London, I went to an inexpensive yet cute department store called Primark. I also visited the Tate Modern Museum (which had modern art such as Picasso). For a few days our group headed out to Stratford Upon Avon. On the way there, we stopped at Coventry Cathedral, a cathedral dedicated to the unity of Christian churches. They had the ruins of the old cathedral (bombed in WWII) as well as the newly built one. The next stop was Kenilworth Castle, the remains of the castle owned by Lord Stanley, a favorite of Queen Elizabeth. Next we went to Warwick Castle, a huge castle tourist attraction. There were people dressed in medieval costumes and the launching of a giant trebuchet. They had a ghost tower, and the castle which was modeled after how it would have been. I loved climbing up to the tallest tower and having the wind blow my hair like a princess.
We got to the city of Stratford Upon Avon, and we stayed at a cute little bed and breakfast. Every morning we got a delicious English breakfast consisting of sausage, bacon, egg, toast, tomato, and hot chocolate. I ate at a pub, which was really fun! We saw two shows in Stratford. The first day we were there, we went to all the Shakespeare houses. We saw the house where Shakespeare was born, Nash’s house (the home of Shakespeare’s granddaughter Elizabeth), New Place (the site of Shakespeare’s home before it was demolished), and Hall’s Croft (where Shakespeare’s daughter Susanna lived). I also visited Trinity Church and saw Shakespeare’s grave. We got a tour of the Courtyard Theater.
The next day we went to Anne Hathaway’s cottage (Shakespeare’s wife). We also went to the Mary Arden farm (Shakespeare’s mom) which was set up just how it would have run in his time. On the way back we stopped in Oxford. I visited Christ Church College and saw the staircase where they filmed for Hogwarts in the first Harry Potter movie. The Great Hall was used as a model for the film. The college had great architecture and the city was a lot of fun.
Sadly, I was technically in school, so I still had to do a project and take finals. Before I left my roommate Natalia and I had a night out in London. We went to Harrod’s, a huge department store that sales incredibly expensive clothes, jewelry, fossils, gem stones, sweets, etc. We also visited our favorite sites like Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, and Big Ben (which lights up at night). Finally, we crossed Tower Bridge and looked out over the Thames River (pronounced Tims). The view was so gorgeous; I was especially surprised at seeing the ancient structure of the Tower of London nestled in between the modern buildings of London. That just goes to show how diverse London is. During my last few days I saw a lot of shows and spent some more time in Hyde Park.
Out of all the amazing experiences I had in London, my favorite part was attending the Stratford ward. We were all assigned to different wards in the area so that we could help out. I was with 6 other girls in the Stratford ward, which we had to travel an hour and a half to get to and pay money to take the train every time we went there. Despite the sacrifice, the experience of attending the ward made everything worth it. The first time we got there, I felt nervous, scared, and alone, but everyone greeted us warmly and made us feel welcome because they were so happy to have us there. Most of the members are African converts, and they are such kind people with amazing testimonies. The bishop immediately gave us callings. I was able to help out in both the primary and nursery, and I just loved those beautiful and amazingly smart kids! I taught a couple of lessons, sang in church with the rest of the group, and gave a short talk about my experience in the ward. In my talk, I said how grateful I was to know that the church is the same even halfway across the world, which is a testimony to me that God is real and that He loves each of His children. Despite the craziness of being in London, I was grateful for the stability of the gospel always constant in my life, and the Stratford ward that carried me through my weeks in London. I was grateful to be able to learn from the kids through their testimonies, their spirit, and their knowledge of the basic principles of the gospel. I will never forget the wonderful people of the ward who opened their arms to us, especially the primary and nursery leaders. I learned that going to church to partake of the sacrament and learn with other saints is worth any sacrifice, even 3 hours of travel time and $10 train tickets.
Now I’m back home in America and it’s good to be back. I’m working as an Outdoor Living instructor at a YMCA kid’s day camp and in my opinion, it’s the best summer job anyone could ask for! I’ve been reading the classics, spending time with family and friends, and even attending some young adult activities.
I’m very grateful for the experience I had to study in London, because I was really given an amazing chance to go out in the world, find out who I am, and be able to serve others. I will always look back on my experience in London as one of the best of my life.

Here are the links to my photo albums (I have tons of pictures!):
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187654&l=a65f9&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187661&l=b7a11&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187666&l=d4eab&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2180338&l=bf0a2&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187667&l=7cb2b&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187673&l=08325&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187978&l=420a5&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187981&l=f3a81&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187982&l=e5eea&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187984&l=6c1cc&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187986&l=a71a2&id=17825448
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2187989&l=2c8f6&id=17825448

The Woman Predicament

2008-07-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

Men, Mormon Men at least, definitely have it easy. Their lives are totally planned out. They graduate from high school, maybe go to some college, go on a mission for 2 years where they don’t even have to think about their future career, come home and decide on a career, finish college, get married, and work to support their families for the rest of their lives. Now women, our lives are scary. We graduate from high school and immediately have to decide, “What am I going to do for the rest of my life?!” We go to school and we have to pick a major that we love, but also one that will support a family if need be, but probably not one that takes too long or is too difficult, because what if we get married soon and have children and don’t have time to finish and won’t even need to use our degree and blah blah blah.
Then comes the other situation… to work or not to work. It seems so terrible not being able to do what we’ve studied and what we really love to do. But what about raising a family? I know that taking care of your kids should be the top priority. I’ve seen too many rotten mothers to not think that. Mothers who work all the time and just send their kids to school and daycare and hardly ever see them is just ridiculous, especially when they don’t need all the extra money (or they’re probably using all the money to pay for daycare). I’ve never heard a kid say, “I love being in daycare all the time!” No! They want to be home, they want to be with their mom, they need to learn from their own parents. I realize that in some situations this is not possible, but in many, IT COULD BE!
Anyway, many women know that their first place is with their kids, but they still want to work and do something fulfilling for society. How is this possible?
On the one hand, Mormon women get so much pressure from the church to stay home with their kids. If they’re working at all, it seems like they’re getting bad looks from the relief society president and the bishop’s wife wondering why they’re not being a good little wife and staying home all the time. On the other hand, women also get so much pressure from the world. The world tells them that if they’re not working and using their degrees then they are worthless. I also realize that being a mother can get a bit tedious, monotonous, boring, whatever. Staying in a house all day and changing endless diapers isn’t exactly my idea of stimulating my brain or making society a better place. It’s hard to realize that with each child being raised in a positive way (this usually happens with a mother who is not working 24/7) a woman is contributing the best way possible to produce a person or people who are a positive contribution to the world.
But it has got to kill a woman not being able to fully use what they have studied! I mean, how do you find that balance?
It’s difficult for women to have this pressure pulling on them from both sides. On one side, we have the crazy liberal women. I read an essay by a woman who shall be unnamed, okay, it was Adrienne Rich, this ridiculous feminist intellectual. She was talking about how she felt so confined being a mother, that leaving her family and her children and becoming a lesbian was the only way she could really free herself from her restraints and really explore what being a woman is (take that however you want to). I was completely sickened by that. I mean, becoming a lesbian is the only way you can really find yourself, your true feminine nature or whatever? Give me a break.
The other side would be a book I did a presentation on once, Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin. This book also made me sick. It talks about how women must act as an inferior housewife to gain the favor of their husbands. Women must be completely sweet, nurturing, babyish, and even act stupid so that their husbands can appreciate their proper place as the “dominant partner”. The book even suggests being underhanded and tricky about it, such as screwing up a lightbulb and pretending you don’t know how to fix it so your husband can feel manly as he helps you. Does your relationship with your husband really need to be that manipulative? I’m hoping that the man I marry can be my best friend, someone I can share everything with and be totally honest with and definitely always be myself, not assume this subservient personality in order to please him.
Anyway, women get a bad wrap in this society and it’s hurting us. We’re stuck between the crazy liberal women’s rights activist and the subservient housewife. Any where we go we feel pressure to go to the other side…or both ways. I really don’t know what the proper middle ground is. Even being a mother, yet working a little on the side, is a difficult task to pull off. I just hope I can figure out how to make the balance.

Why I Love to Write

2008-07-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jamie told me that I should write a blog. I don’t remember why or how this came up, but here we were walking down 116th and suddenly she said, “Erin, you should start a blog.” “Why?” I asked. Blogs weren’t for me. Blogs were for political nuts who wrote down all their opinions. Blogs were for teenage girls who wrote about secret crushes. That wasn’t me. “No one would read it,” I said lamely. “Well, I would,” Jamie said. “I think it would be really interesting.” Well, that made 2 people who would read it, because I don’t usually write for others, I write for me. Which is my problem.
But I kept thinking about this blog thing, because for some strange reason it sounded like a good idea. I kept thinking about how I could write down all my opinions, really get things out. And just write.
My novel is not working out. I had been so excited about working on it last semester, but I didn’t have time to work on it while I was in London. Since I’ve been back, I glanced at it once. All I could think was, “This is terrible. I can’t believe I thought this was good. I’m not ever going to get this published without some major revision.” That’s probably a good thing to realize, except that now I’m really unmotivated to work on it.
And I’m thinking, writing is only really affective if it’s going to move people. But fiction is the best, because then it’s actually interesting. I’ve been listening to a lot of conservative talk shows lately during my long drives to work, and it’s actually really interesting. This is weird, but politics are really interesting to me now. Maybe it’s a part of growing up, because I was never interested in sports at all until last year, which makes it kind of too late for me to really be good at anything. But anyway, suddenly I find myself interested in politics. I think, maybe this is something I could write about. Tell me that last year and I would have cringed, but times change. I was listening to people talk about the court ruling for child molesters and the gun laws and all sorts of things and I was thinking, this is a big deal. People don’t care about what’s happening to America, and in a lot of ways, it’s dang wrong. All these crazy liberals telling us we should do what the people want, and oh, the morals of our country are changing with the times, so let’s just change along with them and let people do whatever they want. You know…it’s wrong. It’s really really wrong. I think if people could just go read the 3rd verse of the Star Spangled Banner a few times, like I did today, they might just change their tune (ha ha, tune, that’s a good one).
Today being the 4th of July and all, I was thinking about how great our country really is. Traveling in Europe the past couple months, I loved it, but by the end I just wanted to go back to America. There’s no country like it, that’s for sure. The ideals we hold are truly unique and wonderful. Yet people want to twist and change these ideals with the changing times. I think we already know what God thinks about the situation.
Tonight I stood outside for a long time out on the lawn and watched the fireworks. The night was cool and clear (besides the fog from the fireworks) and the fireworks were beautiful. I couldn’t drag myself back inside because every time I’d turn around, up would come another blast that would light up the sky. I just got this feeling while I was out there that things are changing for me. Being back home, I don’t really fit in here anymore. It’s like people are telling me, move, leave, get on with your life. I guess I’m ready for the next stage, which scares me and excites me at the same time. I’m sort of a liminal figure right now, standing on the edge of childhood and looking forward into adulthood. I feel that some big changes are coming up, and hopefully I’m ready for them. My study abroad experience was somewhat of a turning point in my life. I worked up to having this great experience where I learned to become totally independent and discovered what I was really passionate about (that is, literature…which I already knew but I guess I discovered the extent of my passion) and now I’m past that and I’m looking on to something else. This is really the scariest time, the college years. I’m making decisions that are going to affect the rest of my life. I’m deciding what kind of person I’m going to be. And suddenly I have all this pressure heaped on me, and sometimes I’m dang scared.
It terrified me when a couple of my roommates got engaged this year. One day we’re having these deep discussions about life and marriage, and the next, they’re actually engaged. I knew it would happen of course, but not so soon. It’s like they’re crossing into another realm, and I’m standing at the edge of the cliff going, “Hey, wait, what’s going on guys? I’m only 20!”
Part of me definitely still wants to be a child. I would rather play games than talk with the grown ups any day. I still remember clearly what it was like to be a kid. My teenage years, especially my stupid Jr. High school, tried to rob me of it, but it didn’t totally happen. I guess that’s why I still understand kids so well. Maybe I could be a good children’s writer!
Okay, this is why literature and writing is so amazing. Because it’s the most affective way to put down issues, to explore character, to understand what the heck this life is about and the changes we go through as humans. That’s why we discuss literature and break it down and tear it up and build it up and whatever- because that’s how we learn about life themes. And morals. And people and character. It’s how we discover what life is all about. And that’s why we write, because we need to get down into words what we’re seeing and experiencing. Well really, I guess it’s the point of all art, to communicate a passion or feeling that you just can’t express in speaking. But in writing, you can try to reach this point in language, where you can express what you really feel. It’s definitely the easiest way for me. I can try to talk things out, but the best way is really through writing.
So listen to the English nerd. Everyone should be reading and writing. Truly, it makes you into a stronger person. At my work at a YMCA day camp, I asked the kids what their favorite outdoor activity was. This one boy was like, “Playing my Nintendo- outside!” That really stumped me. Is that really all kids do these days? Don’t they know there’s a whole world out there? Childhood is the time to imagine and create and play, and they’re missing it! Video games and movies and TV are turning their brains into mush. Are we going to get any amazing writers or artists in the future or are they all going to be professional video game testers?
Okay, obviously I have some strong opinions on this subject, but seriously all I did when I was a kid was make up stories, act out plays, and play make believe. It was the best time of my life and I wouldn’t want anyone to miss that.
It’s now 12:30 in the morning and this is the best time for me to write. There’s so many more things that I could say. I guess I’m good at this whole writing out your thoughts thing. I wish I could be this good at fiction writing. I guess I’ll work on that.