Mission

I decided to go on a mission. This was honestly the toughest decision of my life. I started thinking about it last year, at least I little bit. I was friends with someone who was deciding to go and she told me how she had come to the decision. I was thinking- wait, I'm going to be 21 next year! Crap...I have to start thinking about this! I know some people decide really quickly and just go, but I'm not like that. I have to plan my life in advance. A year and a half is a LONG time! So I thought about it over the summer, and told my mom I was thinking about it. I was expecting her to be excited, but she didn't seem too excited, which I thought was weird. I found out later though, that it was nothing against me. She just wasn't ready to let me go. I think going to London really helped her realize how okay it is for me to go somewhere, though. Anyway, last semester I was struggling because sometimes I would feel SO good about going, and other times I wouldn't...or I guess fear would get in the way. But I did have a few experiences where I felt really good about serving a mission. Finally, I just decided to decide! I decided to take action and see if God was going to stop me. He didn't. So here I am. And I have felt that this is the right decision for me. But I still have doubts and fears all the time. Heck though, if fear is the only thing keeping me back, that's ridiculous! I might as well go. I think I will regret it if I don't.